You complain, about everything, a lot
Complaining is natural so we can learn more about we like, don’t like, need, don’t need, want and don’t want. Sometimes complaining can turn into a passive aggressive way of trying to get our needs met. Rather than take action to try and change our position in a situation, we complain. Complaining is a sign that you are easily bothered and are willing to spend time talking about what bothers you. The things that bother you have taken over your power to find a solution.
You give people responsibility for Your feelings
We are taught to remove the word “make” from statements about our feelings. Neither person nor thing can make us feel any certain way. Our moms don’t make us feel badly about our haircut and our teachers don’t make us feel like we aren’t smart enough. When we assign people responsibility for our emotional states, we give them a big piece of our power.
You use the words “have to” more than “get to”
We don’t really, technically, have to do anything we don’t want to. However, we make the autonomous, voluntary decisions everyday to do many things. In recovery, we gain back a lot of responsibilities we had lost. We are grateful for the opportunities we have in life that we might have missed if we continued drinking and using substances. When we change our perspective from getting to stay sober to having to stay sober we give our addiction our power. We get to show up and live life today.
You give a lot of weight to what other people think
In talking about a particular event, decision, accomplishment, or insecurity, you reference everyone else’s opinions. Giving away your power can mean letting other people influence or decide how you feel. You rely on what everyone else feels or thinks before making a decision of your own, if you make one at all. Additionally, you take criticism from others very seriously, as if it defines you. Giving away your power happens when you stop defining yourself.
Aurora Recovery Centre seeks to empower members through holistic and evidence based care proven to heal addiction in mind, body, and spirit. For more information on our levels of treatment, call 1-844-515-STOP.