One way minds equal one way results. Do you think in toxic extremes? Toxic extremes narrow our perspective, create self-sabotaging expectations, and damage our well being.
Perfect is an unachievable state. When we equate our sense of well being, acceptance by others, or success in life to perfection we are always doomed to fail. As human beings, especially those in recovery, we are meant to make mistakes. Perfection is an illusion that we somehow become convinced we can achieve.
Fate is something everyone endures. There are many choices we make each day where we decide if we want to act in our will or the will of our higher powers. Blaming everything on the throw of the dice according to our higher powers allows us to continue acting in our own will. We are free to make our own decisions, it is said, but we are not free from our decisions’ consequences.
An ultimatum is a finality made through a demand or statement of terms. If said terms aren’t met, the relationship or terms are broken. We make ultimatums for ourselves all the time, which rid us of the opportunity to grow. “If I don’t X then I am never Y”. If we don’t do something right, achieve a certain goal, or get what we want, we throw opportunities out the door.
“I Am Who I Have Been”
Carl Jung famously said, “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” Living by the definition of the past is essentially an easy way out of making changes in the present in order to live a different future. Letting go of the past is essential to changing the rest of your life.
Feelings Are Facts
“Well that’s how I feel” makes for a rather subjective reality. Of course, all reality is subjective, however, living purely by emotion creates an especially narrow scope. Emotions are, among other things, chemical reactions in the brain. Without proper regulation, emotions can get out of balance and create unnecessary reactions. Living based on emotion means living on the wing without a grounded connection to what is right and true in a situation.